The Art of Conversation

The noted Harvard scholar Charles Copeland was once approached by a student who asked: "Why are there no courses in conversation? Is there anything I can do to learn the art of conversation?"

"Of course there is," answered Copeland, "and if you'll just listen, I'll tell you what it is."

There ensued a long and uncomfortable silence which the student finally interrupted with: "Well I'm listening."

"You see," Copeland said triumphantly, "you're learning already."

Time Management

I'm preparing a short presentation for the local chamber of commerce on time management. After putting it together and rehearsing a few times, I'm thinking I better practice what I preach.

Another suggestion is to combine several activities into one time spot. While preparing for today's presentation, I have also come up with my next speech for my Toastmasters Club meeting and articles for my newsletter and weblog. You probably already multitask and don't realize that you are: While showering you make a mental list of the things that need to be done; When you watch TV, laugh as you pay your bills. These are just examples of what you can do to combine your time, but there are many others. Above all be creative, and let it work for you.

So, out of one activity I have created a 20-minute presentation, written several entries into my business blog, written an article for my newsletter, prepared a 7-minute speech for completing my Competent Toastmaster award, and was the basis for this entry! Now if I could just pull that off with everything I do.

Perception is Reality

Okay, I finally gave my speech at Toastmaster's this week, so I thought I'd share it with you:

Have you ever heard the saying "What the mind can perceive, it can achieve"? I truly believe in that concept, because it has affected me throughout my entire life. It has affected your life, but you may not realize it. For example, if you don't believe in a product you are selling or a service you are performing or even a speech you are giving to be the best you can offer, how can you make others believe in it?

The fact is, there have always been two types of people: those who think they can, and those who think they can't, and they're both right. Think about it. Perception is reality. What type of person are you? This is an important question, because it can have a dramatic impact not only on your life, but very likely on the lives of many other people. One person, with the right attitude and willingness to make positive things happen, can impact the lives of many, who in turn can impact even more lives.

Writing, saying and visualizing success through self-perception has resulted in a life that I am happy with. In other words, living a life of prosperity, balance and serenity, I'm doing exactly what I've always wanted to do with my life as a result of changing my perception. Many people perceive that large amounts of money will make things all better for them, Or perhaps a large house or many fancy cars. But these are the same people that are so unhappy they have to pay taxes, or there is a leak in the roof or the car is at the mechanic. Well, if you had less money you wouldn't pay so much in tax, if you didn't have a house you wouldn't have a roof in the first place and if you didn't have the cars none would break down. Do you perceive you have many problems or great wealth? Quit complaining! It takes a lot of practice, effort and commitment but anyone can do it! Perception is the key. Many people believe that "reality" exists in external conditions, the environment. They do not realize that it is our perception towards the environment that defines "reality" to each one of us. Let me give you an example.

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift from his Uncle Bob, a merchant sailor. The parrot had had a tough life on the high seas and had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently using only polite words, playing spiritual music, and providing a soothing environment in an effort to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

The parrot persisted and, finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and louder. John threw up his hands in desperation, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. After a few minutes there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language. I'm sincerely sorry for my inappropriate behavior and I fully intend to do everything I can to stop my rude and unforgivable actions in the future." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Remember, perception is reality! You don't see things as they are. You see them as you are.

I'm No Slacker

Okay, okay, I know I've been derelict in my duty to keep this blog up-to-date, but it's not as if I've been at the beach drinking beers, listening to waves crash on the shore and staring at women from behind my sunglasses. (Oh boy, I have to stop now to finish this dream. . . . .)

I'm back. Yes it's been two weeks. Just for your information, individuals considered to be slackers may in fact be very active, though not always in activities that society deems to be most important, such as writing, speaking and thinking. (Where have I heard that before?)

Now for my excuses: I've been very busy in my "day job" and thus keeping my clients happy with keeping my business blog up-to-date. [Thinking]. I have to give a speech in two weeks at my Toastmasters club so I'm researching and preparing my words in enough time so that I can practice. [Speaking]. And . . . I've written and submitted an article for an online writer's magazine which is scheduled to be published in March. [Writing]. Oooo, goose bumps all over!

I'm also working on a redesign of this site and my business site. I'm open to ideas, so I'm spending a lot of time just surfing through blogs and websites gathering ideas on format, color and layout. Oh yeah, I'm also trying to dig up all the information I need to do my taxes. For the last several years I've filed an extension, but I'm shooting for April 15th this year.

I promise to be here more often. Thanks for letting me know.

English Evolution

So I went searching for words and came a cross a wonderful book, Blooming English. It's not the kind of book I would sit and read from cover to cover, but more like a coffee-table book that I pick up every once in a while and read a sidebar or a chapter or a few pages. Did you know the English language has more than 2,500 words for male and female genitalia? It's a wild trip through the irregularities, complexities and idiosyncrasies of the English language.

Favorite Words

Did you submit your favorite word? Actually I was surprised that I knew seven out of the top ten words without grabbing for the dictionary! Here they are:

1. defenestration
2. serendipity
3. onomatopoeia
4. discombobulate
5. plethora
6. callipygian
7. juxtapose
8. persnickety
9. kerfuffle
10. flibbertigibbet

Jump to Merriam-Webster Online - 2004 Top Ten Favorite Words to see the definitions, if you need.

Good Powerpoint?

Yes I was working on another PPP (PowerPoint Presentation) when I came across beyond bullets and read about some new ideas. I have come by many blog entries talking how bad PP is, including my own, PP Stigma and PP Makes you Dumb.

One common complaint when someone sees a typical PowerPoint is, "I can read your bullet points myself, so why do I need to be here? Just give me the slides and we don't need to waste each others' time."

Read the author's comments and ideas. Since I'm a Toastmaster, I especially enjoyed his comments on PowerPoint and Toastmasters. I know our club, Downtown Akron, No.1894, needs an upgrade from overhead projector to PP.

PowerPoint desperately needs Toastmasters, and Toastmasters desperately needs PowerPoint, and I hope the two will come together at some point because the union would be quite productive.

And check out how Disney uses Powerpoint for storyboarding.

Grab your Audience

As I prepare for another speech at Toastmasters, I am doing some research on my approach to getting my point across to the audience. I came across this article, Audience Grabbers: Start With a Bang, which reviews six ways to get off to a strong start.

While the stakes are mercifully different for the average public speaker or writer today, the wisdom of the samurai swordsmen's fast and dramatic approach will still pay dividends to all writers who keep it in mind: to grab—and keep—your audience's attention, it is critical to make a powerful connection at the very outset.

So I can't do the "slow and steady" or build to a crescendo. It's BANG from the beginning or it's zzzzzz's the rest of the way.

The PowerPoint Stigma

Presenters University, sponsored by InFocus, provides courses, downloads, Q&A and plenty of information on, what else, presentations! This is a useful site with information you can use. This article, The Deadly Sins of Modern PowerPoint Usage, reviews four sins of PP presentations:

• Obnoxious animations
• Lousy contrast
• Stupid sounds
• Abusing photos.

So please repeat after me: “Today, I am going to make sure that I annoy no one with PowerPoint.” We’ll worry about tomorrow tomorrow, but that boomerang animation you were thinking about adding to all of your titles today? Let’s talk…

What a screwy language

Sara Hickman Huh!? page has some great examples of this language we seem to butcher everyday.

For example... If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough in a tree! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple....And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

There's more to make you think and giggle.

Another stab at PowerPoint

PowerPoint Is Evil.

The practical conclusions are clear. PowerPoint is a competent slide manager and projector. But rather than supplementing a presentation, it has become a substitute for it. Such misuse ignores the most important rule of speaking: Respect your audience.

What the "frigging?"

Boy, this is a challenge: Trying to explain the usage of the word "fuck" in a family, or at least mainstream newspaper. The eff factor is an effing good article from the Boston Globe.

If all our cuss words are detoxified and domesticated, we'll have to invent new ones.

Banished Words

Are you tired of "bling-bling" or "shock and awe?" Get this year's list of banished words at Banished Words List :: 2004. Or you can look at the entire list of banished words collected since 1976. Check out "Yuh know" from 1978 or "Yo" from 1990. It's an interesting look at our culture via words over the last 28 years.

More PowerPoint abuse

PowerPoint as an art form? Ex-Talking Head Makes PowerPoint Art seems to be a little over the top. In his book and DVD compilation, "Envisioning Emotional Epistemological Information," Byrne twists PowerPoint from a marketing tool into a multimedia canvas, pontificating that the software's charts, graphs, bullet points and arrows have changed communication styles. Even worse, it will cost you $80 for a 20-minute DVD!

Looking for page layout

I'm on the prowl for software to help me in production of newsletters, training docs, presentation books and booklets. I thought I was going to end up with QuarkXpress. All I heard was how great it was, "everyone" was using it, the industry standard. But I keep hearing about Adobe's InDesign, the up-and-comer in the field. This article, QuarkXPress 6 vs. InDesign CS: Taking Sides, was a great help. I need to investigate more. My project for the holiday season, unless I find one of them under my tree.

The Problem With Presentations

Speaking of Powerpoint, here are 10 Rules for Presentations:

1. Use your emotions. Emotions are real. They authenticate us. And they're much more interesting than the absence of them.
2. Talk with your hands. Look at Tom Peters, who gets dozens of thousands of dollars for emoting loudly and chopping the air with hands. Or listen to Rush Limbaugh, who becomes a visual presence on the radio just by pounding the table and rattling papers.
3. Converse, don't perform. Nobody listens as a group. They listen only for themselves. Talk to each of them. Address individuals in the audience. Look them in the eye, then look at the next one. Connections are personal. You have the stage for the moment, but really you're in half a conversation. If you succeed, you'll start hearing the other half from all over the audience.
4. Use first and second person voices. This is about me and you. Not other people.
5. Command the space. The stage is yours. Move around. Don't stay behind the podium, if there is one. Step out into the open, where you can talk without any barriers between you and your audience. Get into a place where you can see the screen as well as they can.
6. Stand to the left of the screen. People read left to right. They should start with you and move to the screen.
7. Break the flow. In the middle of your talk, turn off the screen (if you can) and change the subject. Bring props and show them to the crowd. Kill all threats to monotony.
8. Rehearse at least twice. Get comfortable with everything you're talking about, not just your "script." Words are hard to remember. Meaning is easy. You get meaning across if you don't stumble over your words. And you won't stumble if you've rehearsed often and well.
9. Watch yourself. This is why a coach is so important. It's shocking to see yourself on tape, and awful to get critiqued by an amateur. But there's no better lessons than the ones you learn by watching yourself and learning form your mistakes.
10. Edit aggressively. Less is more. Create a market for your next presentation by leaving the sequel out of this one.

Scooped this little ditty from Doc Searls, circa 1998 It's The Story, Stupid. Also see Tuesday's blog.

PowerPoint Makes You Dumb

I use Powerpoint in my presentations, speeches and training sessions, but I never thought I may be getting dumber by using it. So here I am still reading Sunday's NY Times and came across this little ditty: PowerPoint Makes You Dumb. Now I admit I have sat through some difficult (read crappy) ppt presentations, especially when sitting in back of large rooms and the presenter crams 100 words in 12pt type onto a slide, but I always blame the presenter or whoever put together the slides.

I am perplexed at times by the feeling that you can't talk to a group of businessmen or executives without Powerpoint. But again, the essence is in what you are trying to say and the points you are trying to bring across. If you've got dull material, a fancy Powerpoint presentation is not going to make it any better. Trust me.